His Story (Part 1): Simpler Time
The first thing—when I was getting ready to write my first blog, my wife told me to make it short. Blogs are supposed to be short. But anyone who knows me understands that was going to be a challenge for me.
As little as women talk about infertility and all that goes along with it, men talk about it even less.
It’s uncomfortable, and it might even make others more uncomfortable than the one talking about it. Also, men just communicate less about personal things like that in general. I make a conscious effort to change that reality and to discuss personal things more openly with friends or people I come across. I am constantly amazed how many others have had painful experiences with infertility and their own life’s journey. It has amazed me that when you share painful things in your life, others will share with you about the pain in their life.
A man is supposed to provide for his family and protect them—that is his job! I was raised to think that way, and I take that responsibility very seriously. A lot of my identity (and how I see myself) is wrapped into that identity. In addition, I was raised to have an edge, or a certain degree of hardness about me. I don’t know if any of this is right or wrong, and frankly, I don’t care if it is. It’s what I think, and I believe everyone needs to live their truth as they see it.
I grew up when things were different than they are now. I am not saying times aren't hard now, or times weren't hard for the generation that grew up before me (I think every generation has a hard time and has to overcome its own unique and unexpected challenges), but my upbringing was hard in a good way and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
When I say my upbringing was hard in a good way, I should provide a little more context.
My generation grew up in a simpler time. Video games hardly existed until late in my elementary school years, I didn’t have a cell phone until college, and I didn’t have a car until the day I left for college. I remember when we got our first TV that had a remote control, not just a dial. I remember getting our first microwave and being able to have microwave popcorn. That was a big deal! Heck, I barely knew anyone that had a computer growing up, and I even remember the time before the internet.
Technology back then wasn’t what it is now, but being outside more, riding bikes around the neighborhood, and being free to explore our surroundings freely was amazing. Along with the freedom to explore, we made some mistakes along the way and were rewarded with bumps, bruises, and occasionally, broken bones. But growing up this way did instill a hardness and resiliency in my generation that the conveniences of today (although they may make life easier) might make dealing with life’s challenges harder for today’s generation.
I am sure today’s generation is happy they have all of the technological amenities they do. But I feel sorry for them, and I’m thankful I grew up when I did because I had an opportunity to learn things that I don’t think they can ever have.
Technology was growing up in parallel with my generation. Experiencing life before cell phones—and more importantly, smartphones & social media—did wonders for my generation. I think it gave us a certain unique perspective that prepared us well for the challenges that life had in store for us.
And believe me, I had a big challenge coming: infertility.
To be continued.